This week I received an offline from an old friend. She’s someone I first met in Second Life in about 2006 or 2007. We became close quite quickly and I enjoyed her company a lot and missed her when she didn’t log in. We became inseparable to some extent and I found myself craving time I could spend with her. She understood me in a way no one else did. I was sure she and I would be friends for life.
As often happens in Second Life she found some new friends. I’m ashamed to admit how juvenile I was when this happened. I felt like I was being replaced. To some extent I was. I don’t think either of us realized the extent of it at the time. My insecurities got the better of me and I did everything I could think of to make it difficult to remain friends with me. In the end her new friends gave her a partial ultimatum – it was me or them. Whether they did it as explicitly as that sounds or if it was more subtle I suppose I will never know. What I do know is that we both let it happen. We could have talked it through before it got to the stage it did but neither of us would admit we needed to.
For what seemed like an eternity I stalked her profile and tried to keep tabs on how things were going with her. Occasionally one of us would send an im but it was always strained. I would have been surprised if all we talked about was the weather. Mostly it was a basic “Hi. How are you?” type conversation. We became virtual strangers. But something made us hold on to the past, or at least to the memory of our friendship.
As time passed she found those other friends weren’t as lifelong as she’d thought. I won’t go into why or what transpired because it’s between them. But I will say I felt a sense of relief when I heard they were no longer in her life. I don’t blame them for what transpired between the two of us but they were in part responsible.
Anyway, back to the offline that inspired this entry. It was basically an offline to touch bases. She reminded me we don’t talk enough. That got me thinking – too often I assume that I’ll have time “next week” to contact people. I shouldn’t do that. So be prepared for offline spam – just remember, it’s just because I care,
