It seems surreal to be here today remembering the life of Rocco Luigi Anzellotti, known to his immediate family as Rocky, known to most people in his life as Rocstar and known as Dad to Natasha and Nicolas. When speaking to one of his friends about his passing, Rocco was described as an institution. His larger than life, quiet and patient personality will be missed by so many people and his passing will be felt by many, not just those who are gathered here today to remember their colleague, friend, family member, nephew, uncle, brother, son-in-law, husband or father but by many the world over. He will be remembered in stories told over a beer at the pub, at the footy, at family gatherings, and in quiet moments. He will live on in our memories.

Rocco was born on the 22nd May, 1966 to Giulio and Isabell Anzellotti. He was the younger brother to Berenice. For the first few years of his life he lived in the family home in New Farm where he attended Holy Spirit Catholic School. He often spoke fondly of the New Farm memories, of sharing a room with Berenice and living not only with his parents and sister but with his Nana and second cousin, Gail, as well.

As a boy, Rocco played soccer. Nicolas recently reminded me that Rocco was asked to play for a rival club, but he declined because it would mean leaving his friends behind.

Rocco and his family moved to Upper Mount Gravatt into what was to become the family home for many years. It was here that he attended St Bernard’s to finish off his primary schooling and then his high school years at Clairvaux College. Rocco spent the first few years as a high school student wanting to be an accountant. Knowing the career path, he took it is hard to imagine him in a button up shirt and tie every day. When he was 15, he changed his mind and this would cause a paradigm shift and would eventually take him around the world.

Rocco relayed many stories of his life as a student at Clairvaux, from his secret stash of “borrowed” goods hidden under the stairs to training for cross country in the months after the official event. He said he was ok at the school stuff and great at maths. It was while at school at the age of 15 that he discovered his passion for lighting and love of music – a passion and love that would have him become one of Australia’s best lighting designers.

After leaving school he worked a number of jobs, from laying lawn to working at Telecom. He continued to dabble in lights for local bands, honing his craft until he got his break and, eventually, he was given a gig working with the Australian Blues Brothers Show. Upon reflection over the last few days I think Rocco would say this was one of the biggest life-changing moments.

While working with this band he met his lifelong best friend and brother Julian and he made the decision to move to Sydney to try his luck and have more opportunities to do what he loved. He packed up his bags and moved interstate, staying on a friend’s couch until he and Julian moved into a share apartment in Ultimo.

Rocco worked for many Australian and International acts in this part of his career in rock and roll that spanned over a decade and a half. This list isn’t exhaustive but to name a few – Nirvana, Ash, Cheap Trick, The Divinyls, Scatterbrain, The Choir Boys, Juliana Hatfield, Ratcat, Gashammer, Midnight Oil and Skunkhour. He travelled, doing lights in pubs in every state in Australia, in Europe and in the United States of America. We could be here for hours and I could try and capture his finest career moments but there is no way I could do his career justice. He took on many roles – crew, rigger, lighting operator and tour manager.

In 1996 Rocco and I met through a mutual friend of Julian’s. My first impression was that he was a nice guy. He was friendly and quiet. We began hanging out as friends, going to the movies, talking about many things. On Christmas Eve 1996 we went to have after gig drinks at The Pyrmont Bridge Hotel and that friendship became something more.

We dated for a little over five months before he asked me to move into the apartment with him and Julian. It was done over dinner and, in true Rocco style, he was leaving the next day for a week-long tour. I’m not sure if he knew what he’d gotten himself into.

Rocco opened a world for me that I never knew existed. He loved seafood and on Sundays we would walk down the hill to the fish markets and then go and have a picnic in the park. He made me try so many different foods that hadn’t been on my pallet until then. If it was footy season, however, we would take our seafood back up to the flat and cheer on the Sydney Swans.

Rocco was a die-hard Sydney Swans fan. He became a member in 1996. I remember vividly the first game he ever took me to. He must have answered five hundred questions that day and I’m not sure if he got to watch much of the game. I do remember that the Swans were down at three quarter time and came back to win by a couple of goals.

In 1998 Rocco made the move from rock and roll to corporate events. It was a decision that he made because he had decided that he wanted to settle down and start a family and rock and roll wouldn’t give him the stability to be able to do that. He joined the staff of Staging Connections. From what I have been told recently, when he joined the company they were fumbling around in the dark with some profiles and fresnels. He changed the way the company operated and led the way in shaping the direction of the lighting department.

He was a mentor for many. He was extremely talented at what he did. I have heard a lot of amazing things about him recently and wanted to share a few of the words those who worked with him have used to describe him: major talent, modest, true gentleman, creative, humble, funny, one of a kind and absolute legend. These were all things I knew but to have them used to describe him is testimony to the lighting designer he was.

On New Year’s Eve 1999 Rocco and I became engaged. I knew I wanted to spend my life with him, so standing watching the midnight fireworks, I asked him to marry me. Years later he told me, if I hadn’t asked he would probably not have gotten around to it but he was glad I did ask.

We got married in Los Angeles on 8th January, 2001. There was no fuss, just he and I in a hotel room. He always liked the fact that he could say we got married in the morning and then went shopping in afternoon. This decision meant that we could put down a deposit on our first unit on our first wedding anniversary.

Rocco and I travelled overseas twice as a couple, visiting Los Angeles, San Diego, New Orleans, Rome, Paris, Madrid, Amsterdam, London, Dublin, New York and Hawaii. With each place we visited I learned something new about him or consolidated something I knew. He was a history buff, especially when it came to Ancient Rome and modern warfare, although I often wonder how much of what he told me was fact and how much was fabrication. He was a great and believable storyteller and, although I questioned him, he would reassure me it was the truth, telling me to “go ask my mother”.

In 2007 I pulled over by the side of the road to tell him I was pregnant with Natasha. I had called him at work and told him not to react. He didn’t, but when he came home he took me out for dinner to celebrate. He was so excited to be a father from the very first minute. Much of my pregnancy coincided with him doing the 75th Anniversary of the ABC which meant he worked in the office during the week and travelled around Australia on weekends. He did everything he could to make sure I was cared for.

The day Natasha was born, Rocco stepped into the role he was born to take. He was the first to hold her and he adored her more than anything in the world. I don’t think there was a prouder father on earth as he watched her grow from the dependent baby he could hold in his hand into the fine young lady she has become. He always said she got her creative talent from him and was so happy she chose to focus on the performing arts as her hobby. Every time he saw her perform, he lit up. He encouraged her every step of the way to own the stage, even choreographing dances for her to television theme songs.

At the end of 2011 Rocco became a father for the second time when Nicolas was born. It was in this moment that his life became complete. He had a son, someone to discuss AFL with and to kick the footy around. He embraced being a father to Nicolas, encouraging him to take risks, to embrace life to the fullest and to make sure you do what your mum tells you. I did laugh however when Nicolas decided that rather than barracking for Rocco’s beloved Sydney Swans that he would support GWS – mostly because they wear orange.

Rocco was a hands-on Dad. Taking the kids to school in the morning and picking them up in the afternoons, putting their needs before his own. I lost count of the number of times he tried a variety of different possibilities to provide a meal that all of us would eat. He worked hard, not just as a lighting designer, but as a father to Natasha and Nicolas. He was shadowed by our Labrador Fudge, meowed at by our cat Misty and splashed by our 13 turtles. He never complained and just did what he needed to do.

To conclude, I am going to steal the words of a dear friend who said this about Rocco: He “never wanted the spotlight even though he controlled it”. I don’t know how the world makes sense without him in it. The world is definitely a little darker without him here and I hope that he knew how much he meant to all of us. Rest in peace Rocstar. We will never be the same again.